![]() "I just want the best for my child." Is there a worse statement you, as a parent, can give? In reality, your child is probably better off if you say, "I want my child to struggle and suffer a bit." But who says that? Parents cringe at the latter, when, in fact, it is the proven, more likely route to success. Very few people have ever followed a linear path to success. Most have taken risks, failed, and diverted their path numerous times to end up where they are. It is safe to say that most stories of linear success were predestined anyway (privilege, connections). If you weren't born silver spoon in hand, read on. Yet, despite this reality, a reality that most parents that consider themselves successful and are reading this have experienced, the message is overwhelmingly the opposite. Parents too often (and any amount is too often) send the message that success will happen only in a few majors, at a few schools, in a few careers. You know the ones. Medicine, law, engineering, Ivy League, Duke, MIT... Next time you go to your doctor, ask him/her how their undergrad at Harvard was... oh, that's right, your doctor almost certainly didn't go to Harvard College. Hmm, he/she must not be successful, but go ahead with that procedure you scheduled anyway. What could go wrong? Stop defining success - explicitly or implicitly - by using language that suggests how success is achieved. Get on YouTube - most videos about it will be amazing stories about how success happened in ways you wouldn't think of, but that is the problem. We are conditioned to think linearly when success requires divergence. This article from the Atlantic conveys what we all know in our hearts to be true, but we just can't seem to make our minds believe it. And who pays the price? The child.
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AuthorOlder blog posts were for the UCLA Ext course "Using the Internet for College Counseling" Archives
February 2023
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