Most of my students write pretty great emails, I must admit. But there is a good way to ensure you are on the fast track to the "wall" (the list you don't want to be on: write an email with these mistakes. For a closer look at what to do (and what not to do), please check out this post from a Tulane admissions officer.
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I would do a lot for my child. I would possibly do anything to save their life. But parents who would do anything to get their children in to college? This is where I differ.
In an age of high anxiety and low resilience, we need not look for to the root of such issues. The messages about success and status are more prevalent than ever before. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary (See publications like Where You Go is Not Who You'll Be by Bruni), the mania seems to be reaching new heights. For a taste of what is happening, please read the Washington Post article: College admissions scandal: Even if you could give your kid everything, should you? “The point is to prepare the kid for the road, instead of preparing the road for the kid,” -Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author of "How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success."
We have reached a new level of parenting distinction: the snowplow (or lawn mower) parent: those who will ensure their child faces no obstacles in life. But for how long, and to what end? Read this shocking article in USA Today showing just how many parents continue to run their children's lives even through college and into adulthood. Parents - Let your children fail. It will be the single most important thing you do to help them. But parents are not the only ones to blame. Schools contribute to an obsession with grades and accolades to the extent that students care not about learning or growing, but about achieving and have become so afraid to not be exemplary, they are ruining their lives. This article in The Atlantic has taken a look at how the drive for success is breeding failure. Much has been read and discussed on the high-profile admissions scandals of 2019. But I wanted to share an article that I found particularly interesting. Forget for a moment the wit and antagonistic tone it takes to prove a point; it highlights specifically the reason I say that no real counselor will ever guarantee your child admission. Those that do so either do not know what they are talking about or are not playing by the rules.
But for my fellow counseling colleagues out there, there is a part that hits home, about when parents come in, do not take any advice, and throw a fit when their child is not accepted. When a child is accepted, it is because they are a genius; when they are denied, we (the counselor) must have done something wrong. It is a sad world we live in. They Had It Coming For those of you considering an independent counselor, be sure you understand what the person can do for you and what they cannot. I have been both a school counselor and an independent counselor and having seen both sides, there are serious limitations when working outside of schools. As independent counselors we do not have control or, nor sometimes information on, many aspects of the process, from school profile to letters of recommendation, grade distribution/rank historical admission data for that particular high school. Independent counselors can help with a few aspects of the admissions process, but not all. For a closer look at the key questions to ask, see this file before hiring someone. Should you go to a school where you will be one of many or one where you will shine? Every year I have students (and parents, mostly parents) who are dead certain that if they can get into the university in the USA with the biggest name, they will be set for life. I usually try to say something like, "So you think there are no CEOs of major companies that came from anywhere but the Ivy League?" but I am not sure they truly listen. But every once in a while, I have a student that wants to go to medical or law school, or get a Ph.D, and then I know I have hooked them. My bait is in just comparing a (likely unknown to most families) liberal arts college and compare it to a well-known Ivy League school. I say, "You want your best chance at medical school, where should you go? Hartwick or Harvard. They all say Harvard. And they are wrong. Malcolm Gladwell addressed this in his book, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, and presents it in the video below. I tell them, "Take a well-known medical school. Do you think they want the best student from Macalester or the worst from Harvard?" You know the answer but usually they are silent. "You need to be ranked high in your class to get into med school. You need research experience. Great letters of rec. Now, where are you going to get that? A place you shine, where the profs say you are the best in your year, or at a place where lots of people, maybe most people, are just as strong, if not stronger?" Look at the rates of students getting into their top choice program from some of the CTCL schools. It is impressive. If you want individual attention and a shot at your career dream, don't be fooled by big name brands; look at schools that will get you there. Next time you trust your doctor with your health, look at his/her undergraduate degree on the wall. My bet is that it is not from Harvard.
Now, this is not to say the Ivy League isn't for some people. I have former students who are doing just fine in those schools. Like any place, it needs to be a fit for you. But consider that just because you can get in, should you go? Will you be likely to take the next step after school? Are you at a higher risk for dropout or depression? Stats suggest that if you are towards the bottom of your class, you will be. Go to the school where you will reap the most of what they have to offer. Careers can face the same dilemma. Check out this story about the president of Cinnabon and how getting in at the right place at the right time can yield huge results. The letters are pouring in, but you get one that neither confirms nor denies your seat. The Waitlisted Letter. Technically not an acceptance; some ways to look at it is as a quasi-acceptance or a soft denial. It sometimes means: we would like to offer you a spot in the class but we don't have one, yet. It isn't a hard denial as schools could use students who help round out their class, yet many of the list will not be offered a seat. It doesn't seem fair. While other students are accepting their places and being assigned housing, some students wait until June or even July hoping that they will come off the list and into the class. Do you deposit? Should you have your hopes up? Is there anything you can do?
Some Possible Steps to Take if Waitlisted:
A number of schools, such as Scripps, Stanford, Tulane, and Notre Dame, admitted no students from the waitlist in 2014-15. And consider Carnegie Mellon, who extended a waitlist decision to over 5000 applicants. Ultimately, four students got a seat from that list. In cases like these, and many others where less than 4% of the waitlist will see a spot open for them, a waitlist letter is as good as a rejection. Which brings into question the practice - Are schools being ethically responsible in extending hundreds or even thousands of waitlist offers to anxious and hopeful students when the data indicate a minute number will ultimate obtain the coveted spot? See some updated statistics from the group of 2017-18. When the heads of Silicon Valley are opting to limit or eliminate the use of screen time for their own children, we all should take notice.
Business Insider Article Do we have an endemic that is bigger than diabetes/childhood obesity, HIV/AIDS, crack cocaine, gangster rap, and Hanson combined? The data are clear: too much tech is not good for you, but can we really stop it? New York Times Article Some interesting things are happening in the world of early admissions.
Inside Higher Education - Early Admit Rates Boston College Changes Again Think that food quality and choice is not a major factor in a college decision? Think again. Three meals a day, 36 weeks a year, do the math.
Some universities are working to be more conscious of the various needs of international students. Read more about what they are doing to expand options here. Learn more about what students think about the dining options below: Niche Best Value The Daily Meal Princeton Review The Insider 12/8/16 https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/96223/schools-in-application-workshop-princeton-yale-and-dartmouth-supplements-to-transfer-or-not-to 12/1/16 https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/96089/schools-in-application-workshop-supplements-for-penn-brown-columbia-harvard-and-cornell-keeping UC Prompts 11/10/16 https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/95725/the-pros-and-cons-of-not-applying-for-financial-aid-when-applying-to-college-schools-in-application U Michigan and Wisconsin 10/20/16 https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/95725/the-pros-and-cons-of-not-applying-for-financial-aid-when-applying-to-college-schools-in-application Why This College 9/15/16 https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/94618/paying-off-student-loans-one-students-story-schools-in-application-workshop-drafting-the-why-this |
AuthorOlder blog posts were for the UCLA Ext course "Using the Internet for College Counseling" Archives
February 2023
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